Mourning Loss Friendships
It is funny and sad to realize that the person you used to spend so much time with talking to has suddenly become a stranger to you. Remembering what you had in common then and comparing then and now, doesn't help. You are only left wondering what made you like each other in the first place. Such bittersweet moments make life different. They make us change. I realize that now.
I'm not angry about it. I'm pondering. I have always been an over thinker and analyzing situations keep me busy sometimes. I know I have made some questionable decisions in the past and even now I feel like I have still. But they always say never regret making them for they can either teach you something or perhaps even take you to a better place.
Perhaps I am a little bit upset. When it comes losing connections, I feel the loss. Although I am good at hiding it or I am good at keeping myself distracted, my feelings and thoughts remain glued to it. Just recently I found myself in a dilemma. I used to have so many friends and now I seem to have none. I am feeling emotional over it. These days I find myself mourning the loss of such friendships.
But they say that this normal. Losing friends is a part of growing up after all. I want to try to reconnect but I can't seem to bring myself to do so. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to say. I am scared of rejection. Perhaps it is all in my head. But when I do try, it doesn't always end well. I'm just so awkward with socializing whether online or offline.
Most days I can see them online. I see their updates too. So much has changed. We've aged. Some things might still be the same but relationships end. Friendships included. Maybe I will just continue to wonder what it will be like to be a part of each others' lives will be like. The past is not always a good place to visit. Perhaps the present and the future will bring better things for me. I just have to keep moving...
I'm not angry about it. I'm pondering. I have always been an over thinker and analyzing situations keep me busy sometimes. I know I have made some questionable decisions in the past and even now I feel like I have still. But they always say never regret making them for they can either teach you something or perhaps even take you to a better place.
Perhaps I am a little bit upset. When it comes losing connections, I feel the loss. Although I am good at hiding it or I am good at keeping myself distracted, my feelings and thoughts remain glued to it. Just recently I found myself in a dilemma. I used to have so many friends and now I seem to have none. I am feeling emotional over it. These days I find myself mourning the loss of such friendships.
But they say that this normal. Losing friends is a part of growing up after all. I want to try to reconnect but I can't seem to bring myself to do so. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to say. I am scared of rejection. Perhaps it is all in my head. But when I do try, it doesn't always end well. I'm just so awkward with socializing whether online or offline.
Most days I can see them online. I see their updates too. So much has changed. We've aged. Some things might still be the same but relationships end. Friendships included. Maybe I will just continue to wonder what it will be like to be a part of each others' lives will be like. The past is not always a good place to visit. Perhaps the present and the future will bring better things for me. I just have to keep moving...
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